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  She broke his gaze and looked around the room. She didn’t like the sound of that. All she could imagine were those shows on TV, where some unknown rookie detective died every week. Suddenly, the thought of losing Jordan overwhelmed her again. She’d have to get over this; he wouldn’t want her to worry.

  Jordan tapped her hand as if he’d recognized her preoccupation. “So, I love the idea of you enrolling in a distance-learning program. I didn’t like the idea of you driving so far every day and then walking around a large campus. College campuses aren’t always the safest place for beautiful women.”

  A twinge of annoyance surged through her. “You drive forty-five minutes to work and deal with criminals every day,” she snapped back. His eyes dropped, and she regretted the comment as soon as she said it.

  He pulled out his cell phone. “I’ll call Bobby and let him know I’m not coming in today. I think I’d rather spend the evening with you. It sounds as if we have to talk about a few things anyway.” He pushed the number on his phone. “Hey, Bobby. I won’t be in today.”

  Jaynee heard her brother-in-law’s guffaws through the phone after he obviously made some ill-mannered remark. Jordan disconnected the phone, no comment.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Five years ago ... up until their fifth anniversary …

  The rest of their weekdays went much like the first. After a while though, they only met for lunch once a week, usually on Friday.

  And Jaynee mostly kept her snide comments to herself. Jordan loved his job, and it wasn’t right for her to give him a hard time about it.

  The weekends were the best. Jordan would go to work early Saturday morning, have a meeting discussing what he expected of his employees the following week, do some paperwork, and then come home — often before noon.

  Jaynee managed to experience more of North Carolina than most natives. Every Saturday, Jordan whisked her away to visit one mountain or another when the weather was nice. The first place he took her was Linville Gorge, which was spectacular, known as The Grand Canyon of the East.

  The first set of falls was beautiful. It wound around a bend in an S-shape and then disappeared into the rocks below, cutting a deep gorge through the valley. Since they were located just about a half-mile off the road, there was no lack of tourists, though.

  But Jordan, being an avid hiker, led her up several more paths to view the opposite side of the falls where they cascaded to the river below. Several spots along the trail opened up to fields of wild ferns, barely touched by the sunlight beneath the tall pines. It looked like a scene from a fairy tale. Jordan then proceeded to descend a path to the bottom of the gorge, which ended up being an all-day adventure. The trees closest to the river were already giving up their green, replaced by magnificent colors ranging from yellow to orange and deep red. And the scents were incredible, a mixture of moss and soil and rotting leaves gave off an unexpected sweet aroma.

  Month after month, they spent their weekends exploring North Carolina and, as a result, each other. They spent hours hiking and talking. She’d never known there were so many waterfalls and mountains, and that one man could have so much depth. They talked about God and politics, their views thank goodness were the same. The only instances even close to arguments were when they discussed children and his job as an officer.

  Jordan wanted children something awful and didn’t want to wait. Jaynee wanted kids as well, but wanted to finish college first, which didn’t make any sense to Jordan.

  If you study at home and plan to work out of the house anyway, what difference does it make when we have children? he’d constantly ask.

  On their first anniversary, Jordan took Jaynee on a cruise. It was a perfect opportunity to escape; everything was slow in September, especially the construction business. Kids were back in school after summer vacations, and families were broke and weren’t moving into new houses or having major repairs done. Things picked up again in late October or November as preparations for Christmas started, Jordan had explained to her.

  Jaynee had made the mistake of mentioning over dinner if they had children, they wouldn’t be able to get away at any time of the year. That was all it had taken to ruin a perfectly good evening. They were on a weeklong cruise to the Eastern Caribbean, it was only the first night, and she’d managed to introduce something stupid. She could have kicked herself.

  Jordan didn’t say anything during dinner. But later, when they walked to the top deck to look out over the waves, he furrowed his brow as he always did when he was upset or didn’t understand something. “Jaynee, I just don’t understand why you would say something like that.”

  She feigned ignorance as if she didn’t know what he was referring to, as it had been over an hour since the conversation, but they were good at this game. One of them would simply start talking about something they’d discussed hours or even days before, and the other would continue as if there had been no downtime.

  He raised an eyebrow skeptically as if he wasn’t buying her ignorance. “If you don’t want children, why don’t you say so instead of making up excuses?”

  Jaynee had to watch herself. She had a terrible temper, one she tried never to let escape, because she would end up throwing things like an adolescent or end up hitting something and break her hand.

  “I never implied I didn’t want children,” she said. “I merely suggested that if we had kids, we wouldn’t have been able to escape like this. I adore children. I babysat my cousins’ children since I was twelve years old. I just think we should wait. We’ve only been married a year.” She pleaded with her eyes for him to drop this discussion.

  He refused. “Are you sure it’s not something else?”

  “Such as ...” She felt her blood begin to boil.

  “Well, I know how you feel about your mother and how she treated you —”

  She cut him off sharply. “I’m nothing like my mother!” she fumed. “My grandmother raised me, and she had four children and tons of grandchildren and great-grandchildren too. Don’t ever compare me to my mother!” She turned away, knowing she had tears in her eyes. She always cried when she was angry.

  He turned her around then reached for her face, but pulled his hand back as she jerked away. “Jaynee, I know you’re nothing like your mother. I wasn’t implying —” He paused, sighing. “I just wondered if you thought children would come between us, as you think you did with your parents. I know you would never hurt a child.” Despite her rejection to his touch, he wrapped his arms around her, refusing to let her go. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m twenty-eight, and I don’t want to wait until I’m over thirty to start a family, but I understand. I won’t pressure you.”

  She relaxed in his embrace. “I’m sorry too, Jordan. I just think it’s best. Besides, being a cop isn’t the best occupation when deciding to raise children, either.”

  She couldn’t see his face, but she felt his body tense. He was ready to end the fight, and she’d broached another sore spot. “I won’t be an officer forever. Actually, I was waiting to tell you this as a surprise, but I have it on good authority they are going to offer me a detective’s position. It’s not the division I wanted, but at least my foot is in the door.”

  Jaynee wasn’t sure this was good news, but she knew it was what Jordan wanted. At least he wouldn’t be on the streets every day.

  She did her best to sound enthusiastic. “That’s great, Jordan. When? What division?”

  “Auto-theft.” His tone lacked the excitement she expected from his announcement. “I wanted rape or homicide, but I’ll take it. Probably right after we return.”

  At least it didn’t sound too dangerous. She wasn’t certain what an auto-theft detective would do, but at least he wasn’t working the streets in one of the worst neighborhoods in Charlotte.

  She turned in his arms and looked at him. “Aren’t you happy?”

  He shrugged. “It’ll be okay. It’s just not what I envisioned when I joined the force. It’s a lot of i
nsurance fraud more than anything — teenagers stealing joyrides, junkies losing their vehicles in awry drug deals. And then, every so often, they make a big bust on a chop-shop.” His eyes thrilled as he discussed the possibility. “Hard to imagine, but over six hundred vehicles are reported stolen every year in Charlotte. It’s a big division. It’s where John works, and he put in the recommendation.”

  “It sounds exciting,” she added, hoping they were finished arguing.

  Jordan pulled her closer, noticeably feeling similar emotions. Here they were under the stars with no appointments, no work in the morning, no reason to get out of bed if they didn’t want to.

  He kissed her gently and then with more fervor. “Not as exciting as you. Let’s go back to the room.” He stood and held his hand out for her. She took it gratefully, and then he pulled her against his side, effectively ending any further argument.

  Jordan did achieve the detective’s position, and no surprise, he was an excellent investigator.

  His hours virtually remained the same, except the few times when he was on call. Fortunately, his captain didn’t have a personal life and tended to take all the overtime calls. But often, when they detained a suspect and couldn’t obtain a confession, they’d call in Jordan.

  He was a natural; even criminals liked him. He had the ability of making everyone feel comfortable.

  They don’t confess because they are pressured; they confess because they want to, Jordan had explained after one exciting situation.

  Uniformed officers had apprehended suspects who supposedly raped a cocktail waitress. The detectives in the rape division couldn’t seem to elicit a confession from the perpetrators and were standing in the hall frustrated. They knew the guys had committed the crime; several witnesses had seen them walk out after her, but it would make it incredibly easier if they could obtain a written statement. Jordan’s captain, having overheard the detective’s frustration, indifferently suggested sending Jordan in to speak with them, even though Jordan wasn’t in rape.

  The detectives allowed him, and it wasn’t ten minutes and Jordan had one guy confessing to everything and consequently his friend felt compelled to do the same after hearing about his friend’s admission of guilt.

  Jordan never talked about police work, but that day, he’d called Jaynee all excited and continued the conversation when he came home. He loved being a detective, and she thought he would never quit.

  Again, over the next few years, it was the only other cause of discord among them. Several times when they went to dinner with another couple, typically cops, she would hear stories. She would try to remain calm, not wanting to upset Jordan and start an argument. Luckily, they were usually only old stories about how some woman offered her body in exchange for a ticket.

  They’d been married for almost five years, so she was getting used to the stories about fights, but she still hated to hear them. She tried to prepare herself for more of the same this evening, as they walked into a restaurant to meet some of Jordan’s co-workers.

  John, the only detective she knew, was there with his newest girl — who Jaynee had tried to strike up a conversation — but it was no use; the girl was dumber than a box of rocks. Patrick, she recognized the other man’s name, worked with Jordan in auto-theft. His wife seemed nice, but uninterested in socializing. Two other detectives, Powe and Williams, worked in Homicide according to Jordan. The men weren’t married, and neither had chosen to bring a date.

  Jaynee listened to the office politics and the he-said, she-said monologues, finding herself bored with the melodrama. The men were worse gossipers than the women she’d worked with in restaurants.

  As if cued by their conversation, Powe raised his hand to break into an exchange she couldn’t hear between John and Patrick. “So ... we heard we almost had a new case on our hands, and here we thought our jobs were exciting.”

  Jordan winced in his seat.

  “Man! Can you believe that?” Patrick retorted in response. “Li should have been locked away years ago; instead, he’s sporting an AK47 and taking potshots —”

  “Excuse me,” Jordan interrupted Patrick, tapping his pockets as he stood up in front of his chair. “I just realized I think I left my credit card in my jacket. Jaynee, do you have your purse?”

  He knew she didn’t. She always left it inside the vehicle when they were together. “Uh, no,” she answered suspiciously. “It’s in the truck.”

  Jordan reached for her hand, pulling her up at once beside him. “Let’s go get it.”

  Jaynee sat back down. “That’s okay, Jordan. You go. I’ll wait here.”

  Patrick rested his hand on Jordan’s arm. “Hey, hold on a minute, man. You’re the hero in this one. If it weren’t for you, we might all be dead.”

  Jaynee eyed Jordan contemptuously. “I’m interested, Jordan. I haven’t heard this story.”

  Jordan sat back down in defeat, his jaw clenched. Apparently, this wasn’t a story he wanted to share.

  “So,” Patrick began again, his face animated, “we’ve arrested Li many times for auto-theft, but the judge always releases him ... since it isn’t a violent crime.” He made quotes in the air, sneering at the judge’s words. “To make a long story short ... Jordan and I were eating lunch when John calls. They’d just made an arrest in a string of armed carjackings, and this perp starts singing, giving them the head of their gang, who just so happens to be Li. As I said, we’d arrested Li repeatedly, but now we had him on multiple armed offenses and an informant.

  “John told us to meet him at the suspect’s mom’s house; we were just supposed to bring him in for questioning. When we got there, his mom answered the door and said loudly, ‘he not here, go away!’” Patrick did a bad impression of an Asian accent. “So, we knew right away Li was there.

  “John escorted the mother downstairs, and I called for Li to come out. Li shouted from behind a door right off the front room, ‘Is my mom still here?’ And this is where it gets exciting. I don’t know how Jordan knew, but he told him ‘yeah, she’s right here.’ Li must not have believed him, though, because the next thing I knew, Jordan pulled me to the floor, whispering frantically, ‘He just racked a gun! Go now! Stay down!’ I hadn’t heard anything. And then, BAM!”

  Jaynee jumped when he clapped his hands in front of him.

  Patrick made eye contact with her. “Sure enough, the rounds commenced. And y’all know the story from there ... four hundred eighty-six rounds later, SWAT, and a whole hell of a lot of paperwork ...”

  Jaynee said nothing the entire dinner, and no surprise, Jordan did have a credit card with him. He requested their check as soon as he finished eating, apologizing to his co-workers that he needed to get up in the morning.

  Jordan slid his arm around Jaynee as they left the table and directed her out of the restaurant, but she wriggled herself free as soon as they passed through the exit. She waited as he opened her door but refused assistance. Even with the running boards, it was difficult getting into his truck, but she could manage.

  She waited until he climbed up in the truck and then let him have it. “You were shot at? With an AK — whatever it was.” Jordan nodded, apparently embarrassed by his friend’s blunder. “And you didn’t tell me? You never tell me anything.” Traitor tears formed in her eyes when all she wanted to do was be angry.

  He rolled his eyes, sighing deeply, an attempt at downplaying the severity of the incident. “You don’t want to hear it, Jaynee.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “No, you don’t, trust me.”

  She glared at him. “Was that the only time?”

  “No,” he admitted. He may have kept his police work from her, but he never lied when she asked a direct question.

  She exhaled loudly, attempting to control her temper. “How many times, Jordan? How many times has someone attempted to take your life that you’ve failed to mention?”

  He licked his lips, then looked out the window, evidently deciding whether to tell her the tr
uth. “Three times with a gun,” he said in a solemn voice. “But that was when I was on the road. Those situations don’t occur now.”

  “But it did!” The tears ran free now. “When you discovered that ring of motorcycle thefts and located the warehouse where they were taking them apart...that I had to hear about on the news. What if they’d been ready when you busted in the door? What if they had machine guns, too?”

  “It’s not like television. Li was a freak incident, and I’m fine, obviously.” His tone abruptly turned; it had an edge she rarely heard.

  In the last four and a half years of marriage, she’d learned his moods. Knew when she’d pushed him too far, but she didn’t care. She wanted to know, and she knew Jordan would never hurt her. “I want to know, Jordan. I hate not knowing what is bothering you. When you’re melancholy and I wonder if I did something wrong ... I need to know.”

  He shook his head and huffed. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

  “Yes, I do. I hate not knowing. I hate this!” she fumed.

  Jordan turned to her then, his eyes bore into hers. “You don’t want to know that I had to hold a two-year-old in my arms, trying to do CPR after he’d fallen into a pool and drowned because his mother was busy in her room having sex with some random man. Or, when I got into a fight at the scene of an accident where the motorcyclist was so drunk that he fought over his dead friend and actually threw his brains at me. Is that what you want to know? Is that what you want me to come home and discuss?” He hit the steering wheel in frustration.

  Jaynee couldn’t speak; she’d never seen him lose it and hit something.

  “I warned you that you didn’t want to know,” he seethed.

  She lowered her voice, hoping to calm him down, but she didn’t want to drop the argument this time. “You’re wrong, Jordan. I do want to know. I just don’t want you to have to contend with it either.” Before she could rethink her words, something she swore she’d never say burst out of her mouth, “I want you to quit, Jordan. We don’t need the money ... your business does fine, and I can’t endure this anymore.”